12 Days of Gabriel–A series of vignettes told from Gabriel’s POV:
Mad for You #7
______________
Emma was here. She wasn’t supposed to here. How did this happen? Why now? Why tonight?
“Emma, why are you here? How did you get here without me knowing?”
“You texted me to come over.”
I heard Emma’s words but I couldn’t process them. The liquor clouded my reasoning. This was why I didn’t drink often, at least, not anymore.
But then again, with circumstances like those of the past few days why would I want to stay sober?
“I didn’t.”
She held up her little black phone. “Yes, you did.”
I ground my teeth against one another. I did it so I wouldn’t yell. “How did you get in?”
“You had me put on the list. At least, I think you did. The front desk…security…let me up. Are you okay?”
“No, how did you get inside here?”
“You left your door unlocked. Gabriel, what’s wrong?”
Everything was spiraling out of control. I sensed my time with Emma was drawing to a close. Eventually she would find out that everything I was, I really wasn’t.
I wasn’t a nice man.
I wanted to urge her to run, to just leave me behind. To never speak to me again. Madness. I closed my mouth before I said something that couldn’t be undone. “You can’t be here.”
Emma’s lovely face clouded, confusion tilting her head. Anger flirted with her tone. “Wait…what the hell is going on? Why’d you ask me to come here if you don’t want me here?”
How could I ever want her here? Here where I briefly lived with another woman. Here where I dismantled my old life as if it never were. Here where Embry had overdosed on prescription pills on Sunday because I wouldn’t go back to her.
I should’ve known what she was going to do when she suddenly became so calm and reasonable after slapping me and calling me every vile name under the sun. I had to kick the bathroom door in when she didn’t come out after ten minutes.
I ended up calling a trusted family doctor and nurse to monitor Embry the whole night. I watched over Embry, pity for her weighing me down and guilt forcing me to wonder how things had gone so badly.
The woman I first met had been so shy and sweet, devoted to me without my prompting. I’d taken advantage of her, knowing she loved me and worse—knowing I didn’t love her.
I shouldn’t have let things get so far. I should’ve sent Embry on her way like I’d done with dozens. I shouldn’t have compromised what I really wanted with what I thought I should accept.
Embry had paid the price for my neglect. I doubt she would be the last.
Emma couldn’t stay here. Anyplace but here.
I closed my hand around her arm, rougher than I wished to be but unable to stop the panic rising up my throat at the thought of this dear, precious girl being tainted by the darkness held within these walls.
“Emma, leave. I don’t know what’s happened, but you can’t be…be…be here.”
I had to keep her safe. No matter what. This much I could do for the one woman I ever loved.