12 Days of Gabriel–A series of vignettes told from Gabriel’s POV:
Mad for You #4
______________
I’d never had this much fun before. Benefits, at least for me, are a necessary evil when it comes to doing something good. It’s not enough to just give the money. No, one had to socialize and put on a happy face. The sadder the cause, the bigger the smile.
No wonder I walked around with a smile permanently etched on my face.
Tonight was different. Emma was with me. I’d done my best to be her personal clown, to amuse her with my wit and silliness. I was good at being silly. The best actually.
And then it all went down the toilet.
“Gabriel, I didn’t expect to find you here.”
I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. I watched the play of emotions run across Emma’s face, exactly in the same order as our unconventional courtship.
Friendliness. Confusion. Hurt. Enlightenment. Withdrawal.
Rage detonated inside. Nothing I could say would undo the damage Embry had just caused in my quest to win Emma back to my side. Despite my sexual proclivities, I was not one to use violence to get my way.
I’d never hit a woman. I wouldn’t start now, but I have to admit I wished I’d never set eyes on Embry. When I thought of how close I’d come to giving up, on becoming the dutiful puppet of the Gordon family…it made me sick to my stomach.
Emma had no idea how she’d saved me. Twice.
I gave myself a mental shake. It wouldn’t help for me to lose focus on the situation at hand. I would do my best to salvage the night with Emma. I couldn’t have gotten this far to lose her now.
I summoned my best manners and handed my champagne to the pale-faced beauty standing in front of me. “Don’t drink yet, Emma.” Her expression didn’t thaw. My heart took a tumble.
I hated seeing the pain in her eyes and knowing I was cause.
I turned around and took a chance by placing my hand on the small of Emma’s back. Muttering a silent prayer of thanks that she didn’t yank away from me, I moved closer. “How are you, Embry?”
“As can be expected.”
Did it make me a monster that I worried more about the woman next to me than the one I would’ve married? I knew it did, but I couldn’t change the truth of my feelings. I never loved Embry…I never loved anyone except for Emma.
I just wished I hadn’t let it get so far with Embry, that I had kept the appropriate distance instead of allowing myself to listen to those who did not hold my best interests at heart.
However, that wasn’t Embry’s fault. It was mine.
I made the introductions. “Embry, this is Emma. Emma, this is Embry Milford.”
Embry’s pain was undeniable. Still, she didn’t make a scene or betray her upbringing in any discernable way. “You’re looking well…Gabriel.”
I knew what she would’ve called me if the circumstances had been different. I hoped one day she’d find someone else, someone that would be worthy of her love. That man would’ve never been me and I hoped she would come to see that one day. Soon.
“I’m glad to see you’re looking well, Embry.” She wasn’t. My lie wounded her yet again. Once I would’ve taken her aside, urged her to eat, to not allow my distance or issues to cause her to self-harm. Now I treated her as I would anyone else. Politely.
“I’ll leave you two to enjoy the rest of your night. Goodbye.”
I hurt those who loved me because I couldn’t feel their love. And I was bound to hurt the one I loved more than anything by the time it was all said and done. If I was a better man I’d leave Emma to the life she’d created.
But I wasn’t a better man. I was a monster.